Gone
by jane-eliza
Summary: She's dead. As is he, on the inside. And no matter how hard they try, she'll never be gone. TxS. Angsty romance.


**Gone.**

_By PshYeah-x._

-

Not a day went by when he didn't think of her. Not a day when he lost himself in his memories – _their _memories, memories of her. Not a day went by when he didn't fall asleep softly, often with dried tear tracks trailing from the corners of his cold blue eyes. He'd act normal, flashing a hollow smile, even though inside he ached. And they noticed.

His eyes. On the outside, they never changed. Clear, crystal blue. But now they were old. Old, cold blue. And that was when Gabriella saw his heartbreak. The others caught on slowly, some when he refused to get rid of her clothes, others when he seemed only to date pretty blondes with big brown eyes. The same as her on so many levels, yet different on so many more.

Their relationship was never perfect. They fought. She'd scream, he'd yell, she'd leave, but he'd always have to help her find her car keys. And so she'd leave, this time with her car keys in tow, and they'd both take a breather. But they both knew she'd always come back in the end.

Except this time, she didn't.

He often daydreamed about her. Wondering what she'd felt those last few seconds. Anger at him. Fear at the bright lights. Even… calm? After all, she never was one to lose her head when things went wrong. He wondered what she thought. Of Ryan. Of her family. Of him. Of them? And what she saw… Darkness. Streetlight after streetlight. Road. More road. Blinding lights. Her life. Even if there was one…Heaven? He'd never know. Because she was gone. And she wasn't coming back.

--

Gabriella. Ryan. They couldn't take it.

He was destroyed. And they couldn't help but to blame themselves. They called him when she crashed. They told him she was in the coma. They told him to give up.

And so he did. He was up. Cut her out. Though she never _truly_ left his life. She never would. But they didn't know that. She was transferred to some prestigious private hospital in New York. And to him that's when she died. When she left him. He was lost without her. Though she wasn't really gone.

--

She'd wake everyday, a smile in her face. Drive to work, not a care in the world except for the traffic. Her life was perfect. Well, as perfect as could be. And she was happy. She'd rebuilt it herself, Ryan helping along the way when things got tough. But they rarely did.

She scarcely thought of him throughout her busy day. He wasn't really an element anymore. Ryan had told her that. She believed him. She** always** believed Ryan.

And who could blame her. Her memory was partially gone. A complete blank for the months leading up to her accident. Like the dull dial tone on an empty receiver. Or like the ringing beep of a sterile heart rate machine. All she could remember was the glistening ring on her finger. Her engagement ring. She still wore it, everyday. But it wasn't for him. It was simply to remind her of her old life. Plus it was pretty.

She quizzed Ryan on why he didn't come visit her. Why he didn't make any contact. Why there was nothing on his behalf. Ryan lied. She thought nothing of it. Ryan lied a lot these days. She never noticed. Though Ryan knew she'd find out one day. Even if her memory never fully returned, she'd know. Ryan put it down to twin telepathy.

And although her fiancé was in her life no longer, she'd occasionally drift back to when he was. And when she'd had a bad day, she would lie awake, and think of him. He used to hold her tight when she was down. Make stupid jokes to get her to smile. God how he loved that smile. And when she cried, she'd cry and remember him. He'd let her cry her heart out onto his shoulder. And when she'd finished, he'd wipe her tears and grin, and tell her it was gonna be okay. It was always gonna be okay.

And so, she'd lie back in bed at night and smile. There were times when she missed him terribly, other times when she barely thought of him at all. But there was no denying. He wasn't totally gone. And he never would be.

--

He sifted through the mail, just as he did every morning. Coffee in one hand, letters in the next. Bills. Bills. Junk. Bills. Nothing special. Except what was this?

With a quick tear of the seal, he scanned the card inside the envelope.

Great.

Wedding invite. Ryan and Brittany's to be precise. Talk about irony; her brother and her best friend.

He sighed and dumped the pile of mail on the counter. He'd deal with it later.

--

She yanked open the little white envelope with a grin. It didn't take much brains to figure out what _this_ was. Plus she was bridesmaid.

Without reading the invite, she glanced simply at the date before chucking it on the table. She downed the rest of her orange juice, and scurried upstairs with a smile on her face. Yay, wedding!

--

It wasn't a big event. Medium sized if you must. Family and friends and colleagues, as such. She milled around the bar with Brittany, though when Brittany was off doing wedding rounds, she was let alone with her cocktail. She was apprehensive to reacquaint herself with her East High buddies, who seemed to swarm to a table near the back. And she was very, _very _aware that her supposed 'fiancé' was at that table. But it was awkward with the other bridesmaids, Brittany's sister, and another various female member of her family that she knew to see, but not to speak to. So she kept to herself. Well, herself, her cocktail, and John the barman.

She considered getting wasted, just for kicks. Plus Ryan had hot friends. But it only made her even **more** aware that her fiancé was sitting at the back table. She shook her head slightly, throwing the thought far from her mind.

She smiled to herself, and sipped her cocktail.

Wasted it is.

--

He lurked over with Gabriella, Chad and Taylor, feeling confined. All he wanted was to go get drunk at the bar, but they kept a watchful eye on him, not letting him leave. Every time it looked as if he was about to scarper, Gabriella would engage him in dull conversation. He put it down to concern about him drinking away his sorrow again, oblivious that they were _really_ trying to keep him from a certain 'dead' blonde currently chatting away to the barman.

And it wasn't Brittany's grandmother.

He eventually managed to slink away, claiming he needed the bathroom. He wandered over in the direction of the bar, not noticing her. He ordered a beer, not noticing her. But when she passed him, muttering a barely audible "S'cuse me", he noticed her.

And God, did he notice her.

His heart lurched in his chest, beating unnaturally fast, and the hand holding his beer froze in mid air, halfway up to his mouth. His ice blue eyes followed the back of her blonde head through the crowd, until her could no longer see her.

_Dear God. It was _**her.**

--

Everything was a blur.

He rushed through the crowds of people, the table, the dance floor. His eyes were fixed on one thing, Gabriella, He needed answers.

Gabriella saw him coming, and nudged Chad gently. He looked up at her, at her eyes. Warning eyes.

He was hurrying towards them. Gabriella stood up, and her grabbed her arms, his dead blue eyes alive with panic.

"Gabi…Gabi, help me. I can see her. Dear God, I can _see her._ I'm drinking. I must be. Please… Oh God. Help me. Please…"

Gabriella nodded solemnly and silently, and brushed his brown hair from his raw eyes. "I know. I know.. Here, sit down and take it easy…"

But he frowned and pushed her away, shaking his head.

"No…no. Stop it. It's not real. Stop it. It's not real…"

He turned on his heel and scrambled to get away. Back to the bar. Another drink. That would calm him. Another drink. That's all he needed. _Just another drink…_

--

Gabriella caught Ryan's arm, stopping him in his tracks. All it took was one look. "He knows."

--

Three drinks later. His head was in his hands. It wasn't real. Of course it wasn't. It couldn't be.

Ryan approached him quietly.

"Dude, why don't you come with me for a bit…"

--

She was retouching her makeup in the bathroom mirror when Gabriella walked in. She smiled at Gabriella's reflection in the mirror, and Gabi returned it unsurely.

"I haven't seen you in years!"

Gabriella nodded. "Hey, why don't we go grab a drink?"

She shrugged, smiling, and followed her out.

--

She frowned as they arrived in a small lounge off the lobby. Gabriella offered her a seat, which she gladly took. There was silence. Gabriella was obviously anxious, and kept checking the hall.

"Are you waiting for somebody?" she quizzed her finally, her growing curiosity taking the better of her. Gabriella shook her head, distracted.

And suddenly there were footsteps, and Gabriella shot quickly outside, closing the door behind. _Being very careful to close the door_.

Murmurs, murmurs, murmurs.

A loud, stressed voice.

More hushed murmurs.

_Sharpay._

Her eyes flew open suddenly, and she opened the door slightly, pressing herself up to her gap. She could see a sliver of Ryan, half of Gabriella's head, and him.

**Him.**

--

He spotted the shadow of dark brown eyes through the small crack in the door, and shattered inside.

They were her eyes.

He grabbed the handle and yanked the door open. She stood there, eyes wide.

And he froze.

She could see Ryan and Gabriella exchange glances from the corner of her eyes.

And he shook his head slowly; cold blue eyes suddenly warm with hot tears. Her brow furrowed, and Gabriella stepped in gently.

"Let's sit down."

--

Her mascara ran, her throat ached, her mouth leaked. She was dead, apparently.

But she wasn't.

She was very much alive and well. Well, not _well. _But alive at the very least.

It was all a lie. Everything Ryan said. And as for Gabi, well, not so much a lie, just not so much the truth.

And she couldn't even begin to imagine his pain. And she watched him as he took everything in. And she watched him as he cried silently. And she watched him, and she realized she loved him. She never stopped.

And she hugged him tightly. And told him she loved him, but she needed time to figure things out.

She was dead after all.

--

And they returned to the reception, both a little shaken, and holding each other's hands for strength.

They sat quietly near the back together, at the 'East High' table, still holding hands. Neither spoke. They didn't need to. And they didn't want to either. As they both ran the past two years over in their mind.

She caught his eyes on her, and smiled softly. His eyes were no longer dead, but warm. And he smiled back. The first _genuinely genuine_ smile in years.

She leaned over slightly, whispering so only he heard.

_I love you Troy Bolton._

And his grin grew. And he mouthed back to her.

_I love you too, Shar._

And they both knew that the past two years didn't mean anything anymore. And that it wasn't quite perfect now, but who's to say it wouldn't be one day. Because in the end, love was all that really matters. Right?

-


End file.
